Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Discord:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Live now on X:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Going viral on Messenger:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Making waves on Messenger:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, sometimes intuition just wants to hit the dance floor and spin some records! 🎧💃😂

brag, date, dj, humor, intuition, irony, relationship, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

0

4 weeks ago

2020, Covid, death, died, hell, humor, i, irony, maybe, pandemic
Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

0

2 months ago

bored, danger, dangerous, excitement, fun, humor, mischief, warned, warning
I brake for no one, except squirrels.

0

5 months ago

animal, brake, driving, except, humor, i, squirrel, squirrels
Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, food, humor, indulgence, queso, sexier, sexy, temptation, thing
Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

0

24 hours ago

activation, always, anime, anime character, anime trope, character, characters, eye, know, mode, trope
I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

0

2 months ago

culture, drugs, entertainment, humor, influence, peer, peer pressure, pop, pop culture, pressure, show, shows, social, social influence, TV, TV Show, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

77 shares on Discord this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

16 shares on X this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Seen just now on Reddit:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Seen just now on X:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Making waves on Threads:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Just shared via Discord:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Spotted on TikTok:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Shared recently on WeChat:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨