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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Trending via Twitch:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Spotted on Messenger:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Making waves on TikTok:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Trending via Pinterest:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

4 weeks ago

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When you've defeated the final boss but the real challenge is getting someone to listen to your epic tale 🎮🤔📢

conversation, feeling, frustration, game, having, interaction, loneliness, nobody, playing, social, social interaction, talk, worst

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

88 shares on Discord this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Going viral on Telegram:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Making waves on X:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Shared recently on TikTok:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Just shared via X:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨