Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Trending via WeChat:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Seen just now on X:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Going viral on Pinterest:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Making waves on Messenger:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you've defeated the final boss but the real challenge is getting someone to listen to your epic tale 🎮🤔📢

conversation, feeling, frustration, game, having, interaction, loneliness, nobody, playing, social, social interaction, talk, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

0

2 months ago

diet, exercise, humor, option, Ozempic, poor, secret, strict, third, too, undisciplined
My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

0

2 months ago

AI, beautiful, beauty, being, competition, computer, contest, crafting, creativity, cry, dream, emotion, humor, i, story, writing, writing contest
Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

0

2 months ago

food, fry, humor, intention, joke, making, sharing
Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress
Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

0

5 months ago

bed, bedtime, canceling, canceling date, cancelling, care, date, early, early night, humor, i, night, order, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care
Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

0

2 months ago

appliance, autonomy, dial, free, free will, humor, kitchen, little, toaster

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Spotted on Twitch:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Trending via TikTok:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Making waves on X:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Trending via TikTok:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Spotted on Reddit:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨