Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Trending via Twitch:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Trending via TikTok:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Making waves on Discord:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Spotted on Discord:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Making waves on Reddit:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Just shared via YouTube:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this person's BS meter is off the charts! 😂 Oh well, guess I'll just go color in my own coloring book. 🎨📚"

full, full of shit, humor, oh, own, own page, page, person, realization, shit, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

0

2 months ago

attraction, beard, beards, charm, dating, grey, grey beard, guy, guys, humor, relationship, thing
Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

0

2 months ago

ankle, clumsiness, humor, injury, mobility, sometimes, vacation, walking
Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

0

2 months ago

answer, apathy, doing, easier, honesty, indifference, interaction, much, once, question, realization, realize, social, social interaction
I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, evening, functioning, humor, i, morning, person, personality, pretty, sleep, start
If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

0

2 months ago

after, afterlife, cremated, cremation, death, die, family, family game night, game, game piece, hourglass, humor, night, nights, participation, piece, put, still
Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

0

2 months ago

apology, communication, humor, i, just, left, mean, message, open, procrastination, read, sorry, text

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

11 shares on X this month:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

11 shares on Facebook this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

36 shares on Threads this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Spotted on X:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Broadcasted on Threads:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just shared via X:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨