Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Seen just now on Discord:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Shared recently on X:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Just shared via Facebook:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Live now on X:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"True that! My bank account says I'm much closer to street food than to Elon 😅💸🍜"

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, frustration, hate, humor, i, language, phone, spell, spelling, texting, trying, typo, word
Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

0

2 months ago

am, bold, casual, fact, full, honesty, humor, i, irony, me, phrase, relatable, self-awareness, worry
Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

0

2 months ago

application, bro, hear, humor, job, job application, question, secret, us, why, workplace, workplace humor
“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman
The problem is I am always the problem.

0

2 months ago

always, am, humor, i, introspection, irony, problem, self-awareness, self-deprecating
Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, going, humor, joke, Kardashian, marriage, marry, new, new plan, okay, plan, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

32 shares on Slack this month:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

42 shares on Discord this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Making waves on Discord:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Going viral on X:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Shared recently on Messenger:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Trending via YouTube:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

The problem is I am always the problem.

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨