Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.
  • Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?
  • It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.
  • “I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.
  • Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.
  • Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.