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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Just landed via YouTube:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Seen just now on Facebook:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Breaking via Facebook:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Live now on YouTube:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Going viral on Threads:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like their favorite hobby is perfecting the art of standing around! 🎭🕺

back, going, going outside, humor, observation, outside, people, place, places, routine, same, still, time, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

0

2 months ago

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet
Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

0

2 months ago

answer, answering, asked, bottle, conversation, drink, hour, humor, i, know, me, misunderstanding, much, right, someone, spend, spending, wine
People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

0

2 months ago

honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, people, think, time, truth
Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

0

2 months ago

comfort, familiarity, home, tap, tap water, taste, water, where
Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

0

4 weeks ago

both, conflict, costner, dance, dancing, humor, i, inner, inner conflict, inside, Kevin, Kevin Costner, know, wolf, works
A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

0

2 months ago

big, bowl, comfort, comfort food, food, fry, fulfillment, good, happiness, humor, love, personal, relationship, snack, substitute

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

88 shares on Threads this month:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

60 shares on Slack this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

19 shares on Discord this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨