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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Shared recently on Reddit:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Going viral on Instagram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Just landed via YouTube:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Trending via Snapchat:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Spotted on Instagram:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Spotted on Reddit:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.
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Commentary:
"When even the error message throws in the towel, you know it's time to close the laptop and ask your toaster for tech support instead! 😂🍞💻"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2402 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,564

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,564

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Making waves on Messenger:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Going viral on Discord:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Trending via Pinterest:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Shared recently on X:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

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