Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Breaking via Slack:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Just shared via Telegram:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Just shared via Discord:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Making waves on Discord:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'll be sure to let my boss know I'm taking a "horror-day" off next time I dream of juggling chainsaws! 😴😱🪚

allowed, bad, call, call out, excuse, humor, nightmare, should, sleep, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

2 months ago

anxiety, busy, funny observation, nobody, notice, noticed, observation, said, self-consciousness, social, social anxiety, thing, too, weird, weird thing, worry
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, brain, choice, decision, humor, insomnia, let, life, life choice, me, overthinking, self-reflection, sleep, stay, together
Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

6 months ago

being, bum, choice, college, delay, education, folks, humor, life, life choice, procrastination
A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

2 months ago

happiness, humor, late, late person, later, meeting, never, person, punctuality
It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

4 months ago

court, honor, humor, internet, internet slang, judge, liberating, liberation, shitposting, should, slang, sometimes, try
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, language, let, nothing, self-awareness, slang

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Spotted on Reddit:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Trending via Messenger:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Seen just now on WeChat:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Shared recently on Instagram:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨