Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Making waves on Discord:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Breaking via YouTube:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Just landed via TikTok:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Live now on Slack:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Spotted on Twitch:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Waking up at 6 a.m. is like unlocking a secret bonus level in the game of life… or an extra boss battle. ⏰🤪💪

48, 6, am, day, early, early riser, exaggeration, hours, humor, morning, riser, time, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

0

4 months ago

armor, armour, humor, insult, just, knight, shining, under, Under Armour, wordplay
I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

0

2 weeks ago

birthday, celebration, everyone, exhaustion, greeting, happy, humor, i, keep, life, procrastination, rest, sarcasm
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

0

2 months ago

back, connection, happiness, i, interaction, love, me, moment, nice, smile, stranger, strangers
Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, am, email, escape, filled, funny response, humor, i, making, message, pockets, procrastination, response, sea, stones, thanks, unfortunately
I need a long hot meteor shower.

0

2 months ago

date, hot, humor, i, meteor, need, shower
It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

0

2 months ago

after, awkward, awkward moment, back, comeback, failure, five, funny situation, hard, high, high five, humor, interaction, moment, poorly, situation, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

22 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Seen just now on Discord:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Just shared via WeChat:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Live now on TikTok:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Just landed via Reddit:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Just shared via Twitch:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

I need a long hot meteor shower.

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨