You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

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I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

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How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

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I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

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How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

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Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

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I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

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All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”