Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Just landed via Messenger:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Going bananas on Telegram:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Live now on Facebook:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Spotted on Twitch:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Making waves on Instagram:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"With an order like that, your barista must have a PhD in patience! ☕😅 #BaristaChronicles"

believe, coffee, customer, deal, difficult, difficulty, humor, me, order, sarcasm, Starbucks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

2 months ago

advice, asking, decision making, different, doing, humor, i, love, people, want, what I want
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

5 months ago

blame, even, ever, fault, having, humor, i, mean, office, problem, proof, right, sarcasm, sensuality, sex, sheer, someone, work, yours
The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

2 months ago

animal, animal friend, berry, eating, enchanted, enchanted forest, escape, fantasy, forest, friend, friends, humorous, i, lover, me, nature, nature lover, streets, talking, whimsical, woodland
I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

2 months ago

humor, i, irritate, irritation, issues, me, motivational, self-awareness
My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

2 months ago

deprivation, doing, hobby, hours, humor, insomnia, laziness, nothing, procrastination, saying, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up, three, tired
The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

4 months ago

heal, healing, health, humor, loss, me, memory, memory loss, mental, mental health, only, sarcasm, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Slack this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Going viral on Reddit:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Just shared via YouTube:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Breaking via Discord:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨