Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just shared via Discord:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Going viral on Messenger:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Breaking via YouTube:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Just shared via Twitch:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to juggle cassette tapes and MP3 playlists like a true time-traveling DJ! 🎧😂🤷‍♂️

1990, 2003, age, both, flirting, humor, nostalgia, where, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bee, distraction, face, funny moment, humor, moment, nature, never, situation, unattractive
Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, cause, dynamics, family, family dynamics, hanging, humor, interesting, oh, parenting, parents, self-awareness, why
Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

0

2 months ago

doctor, good, guess, hear, humor, ID, just, medical, mine, say, uncertainty
The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

0

2 months ago

communication, expectations, humor, man, relationship, surprise, tell, time, want
Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

0

5 months ago

back, blessing, daily, daily life, house, humor, leaving, leaving house, life, returning, safely, safety, underrated, underrated blessing
The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bi, both, humor, men, orientation, sexual, sexual orientation, where, women, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

41 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

45 shares on Discord this month:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

46 shares on Discord this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Breaking via Pinterest:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Shared recently on Slack:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Going viral on WeChat:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨