Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Going viral on TikTok:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Trending via Discord:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

10 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about microbiomes, humorously comparing gut diversity with witty confidence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your gut has been hitting the gym more than I have! 🏋️‍♂️🦠😄

bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

2 weeks ago

computer, humor, insecure, insecurity, joke, password, pun, security, technology, too, worry
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

2 weeks ago

back, finger, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, inside, just, me, reaction, sarcasm, shadow, summer, sun, temperature, weather
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

2 weeks ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under
Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

2 weeks ago

chocolate, comfort, humor, indulgence, questions, silly, treat, understanding
Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

5 days ago

aging, enjoy, fatter, going, humor, life, older, only, perspective
Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

2 weeks ago

courtroom, denial, honor, humor, judge, legal, me, sound

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Spotted on TikTok:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just landed via Telegram:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Spotted on YouTube:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Trending via Threads:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨