Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Just landed via Threads:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Spotted on Discord:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Going bananas on X:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Live now on Discord:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mooo-ving proof that staying young at heart is udderly irresistible! 🐮🚗😂

activity, age, cow, drive, driving, fun, fun activity, never, old, past, shout, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

0

5 months ago

boss, friend, friends, humor, job, law, lie, literally, old, pretend, put, reference, references
Man, these end times are taking forever.

0

2 months ago

end, end times, forever, humor, joke, man, taking, time, times
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

0

2 months ago

edition, humor, individuality, limited, limited edition, me, self-esteem, self-reflection, uniqueness
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

0

2 months ago

another, big, big city, city, day, explaining, family, footage, humor, mom, new, New York, saw, shot, street, york
Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

0

2 months ago

adolescence, again, communication, day, English, expectation, forward, humor, language, looking, parenting, speaking, teenager
You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, cheesecake, choice, eat, even, food, freedom, humor, indulgence, police, stop, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The world started without permission again.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Just landed via Slack:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Just shared via WeChat:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Trending via Snapchat:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Making waves on Slack:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨