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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,065

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Trending via Twitch:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Going viral on Instagram:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Going viral on Facebook:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the 'hangry' monster strikes again! 🍔😡 Just feed it and watch the peace return! 😂"

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

2 months ago
American, Americans, attitude, confidence, humor, just, motivation, put, say, sunglasses, want
Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

1 month ago
breaking, child, child entertainment, entertainment, family, family life, getting, having, humor, kids, life, news, parenting, peppa, Peppa Pig, pig, toddler, wild
The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

1 month ago
berry, elderberry, fruit, humor, knowledge, most, wisdom
Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

1 month ago
35, after, age, birthday, Facebook, growing, growing up, humor, just, keep, media, number, perception, social, social media
Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

1 month ago
being, challenges, crazy, favorite, favorite things, humor, irony, least, profession, services, social, social services, social worker, things, worker
Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

1 month ago
apology, confession, context, drunk, every, honesty, humor, i, meant, relationship, sorry, word, words

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Trending via Snapchat:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Trending via Pinterest:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Just landed via YouTube:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Going bananas on X:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Don’t hate me, date me!

I am not in a good place, geographically.

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

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80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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