Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Trending via Slack:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Going viral on Slack:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Just landed via Facebook:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Seen just now on Slack:

I was dropped as an adult.

Just shared via Reddit:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the 'hangry' monster strikes again! 🍔😡 Just feed it and watch the peace return! 😂"

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

0

2 months ago

fast, fear, humor, machine, scary, spin, washing, washing machine
I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

0

2 months ago

anything, avoidance, bring, fight, humor, i, knife, knife fight, need, self-preservation
Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

0

2 months ago

entertainment, forget, humor, interests, Pornhub, preferences, seeing, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, wrapped
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

0

6 months ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout
Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, gangster, humor, need, pee, reality, situation, urgency
I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

banter, breakfast, eat, eating, humor, i, jokes, posts, sarcasm, witty, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

76 shares on Slack this month:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

59 shares on X this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

83 shares on X this month:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Making waves on TikTok:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Trending via Pinterest:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Making waves on Facebook:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Live now on Threads:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨