Someone from has bookmarked:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from has downloaded:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from has downloaded:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from has copied:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from has shared:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from has bookmarked:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.