Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

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December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

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Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

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The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

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I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

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If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

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No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

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The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

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Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

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Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.