Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

21 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Live now on YouTube:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Just landed via X:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Trending via Snapchat:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Jan 24, 2025

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Planning a road trip? Don't forget to bring a positive friend and a negative friend along for the ride! 🚗💨 That way, you'll always have a jump start when things go downhill… or uphill, depending on your friends' moods! ⚡😄 #GoodVibes #RoadTripLife"

battery, cables, car, friend, friendship, humor, joke, negative, negative friend, next, positive, positive friend, road, road trip, start, take, travel, travel joke, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

21 minutes ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Spotted on WeChat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Seen just now on Messenger:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Going viral on Facebook:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

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