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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

22 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Spotted on Discord:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Just shared via Messenger:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Just landed via Telegram:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Making waves on Instagram:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

6 months ago

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️ "Ah, the secret to being a top spy in Britain is by being super sneaky…or not! 🕵️‍♂️ Introducing the master of undercover subtlety with the most unforgettable catchphrase: 'Smith, John Smith, in case you needed a reminder!' 😂 Who needs a disguise when you've got a signature introduction like that? Classic spy humor at its finest!"

again, Britain, case, catchphrase, clever, forename, hello, humor, i, identity, joke, missed, real, spy, surname, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

22 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Trending via YouTube:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Going viral on Twitch:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Going viral on Facebook:

My recliner and I go way back.

Spotted on Twitch:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

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