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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,971

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Live now on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Spotted on Threads:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Just shared via X:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Seen just now on X:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Spotted on Instagram:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

3 weeks ago

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems

after, anatomy, animal, around, baby, birth, bottom, centaur, ever, flop, half, humor, imagination, start, thought, top, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,868

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just landed via WeChat:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going viral on YouTube:

Aura is the real business card.

Going viral on WeChat:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Just landed via Messenger:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

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