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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2526 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,688

Funny Quotes Topics

15,354

Funny Quotes Images

12,688

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Reported on Facebook:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Just shared via Instagram:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just landed via Messenger:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.
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Commentary:
Taking a casual stroll around the world for some me-time is totally relatable 🌍🚶‍♂️😅 Just don't forget your passport next time!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2526 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,688

Funny Quotes Topics

15,354

Funny Quotes Images

12,688

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Just shared via Telegram:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Spotted on Instagram:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Trending via Slack:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Breaking via Slack:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Live now on Discord:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

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