Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.