A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.