Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Just landed via YouTube:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Trending via Twitch:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Just landed via Discord:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Making waves on Threads:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Making waves on Discord:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sidewalks: the unsung heroes of every stumble! 🚶‍♂️😂🌟

gratitude, humor, keeping, me, quick, safety, shoutout, sidewalk, sidewalks, street, streets, thanks, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

0

5 months ago

actually, coping, coping mechanism, got, heal, healing, humor, i, mechanism, people, psychology, revenge, think, trauma
(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

0

5 months ago

boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard
Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, casual, communication, humor, just, patience, playful, puzzle, reassurance, relationship, right, shell, working, worry
We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

0

2 months ago

1969, ambition, election, every, exploration, humor, i, man, me, moon, president, promise, put, satire, space, space exploration, stop
During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, cold, comparison, experience, feel, humor, men, much, pain, suffering, women
The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

0

2 months ago

cancellation, dopamine, fun, getting, hit, humor, irony, meeting, office, outlook, relief, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

13 shares on Slack this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Breaking via Messenger:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Going viral on Pinterest:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Just landed via Discord:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Shared recently on Discord:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Trending via Threads:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨