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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Spotted on Reddit:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Trending via Slack:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Making waves on Threads:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Shared recently on X:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Just landed via Telegram:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Making waves on Threads:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just call me the shrimp of the sofa sea, forever curled up and cozy 🦐😂🛋️

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

0

2 months ago

act, awkwardness, clothing, humor, laundromat, never, people, public, Speedo, surprise
Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, comedy, disinterest, ever, humor, math, me, moved, please, reluctance, speak, wordplay
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad habit, habit, habits, humor, laziness, mother, respect, should
In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

0

2 months ago

celebration, charles, Christmas, Dickens, holiday, honor, humor, i, irony, literary, literary reference, poor, reference
Don’t hate me, date me!

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, flirting, hate, humor, love, me, playful, relationship
If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, fly, humor, idiot, media, satire, social, social media, TikTok

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

65 shares on Threads this month:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Live now on Pinterest:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Live now on Facebook:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Going viral on Reddit:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Breaking via TikTok:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Going viral on Slack:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Don’t hate me, date me!

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨