Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Live now on Pinterest:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Making waves on Threads:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Breaking via Discord:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

1 month ago

Playful quote about loving bad posture, comparing sitting like a cooked shrimp to comfort.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just call me the shrimp of the sofa sea, forever curled up and cozy 🦐😂🛋️

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why

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94 shares on TikTok this month:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

17 shares on Slack this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just shared via Threads:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Making waves on Discord:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Going viral on Discord:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨