Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Shared recently on Discord:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Live now on Telegram:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Trending via Discord:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Going viral on X:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Trending via TikTok:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulthood where pulling an all-nighter means making it to morning without a bathroom break! 🚽🌙😴"

30, adult, adult life, after, aging, aging humor, bedtime, getting, health, humor, life, night, pee, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

0

4 days ago

childhood, commando, family, give, hear, humor, i, know, memory, mom, parent, prime, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, speechless, young, youth
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

0

2 months ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy
Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, days, feel, frustration, humor, idiots, just, life, perspective, realize, relatability, sarcasm, self-awareness, surrounded
Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, doing, dry, Dry January, humor, January, joke, mean, sense, sense of humor
My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, chaos, follow, kids, leave, me, parenting, scared, trouble
What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

0

4 weeks ago

called, confusion, desire, horny, humor, libido, mental, mental state, mentally, physical, physical response, physically, response, sexuality, state, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Farting, but with eye contact.

89 shares on X this month:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

68 shares on X this month:

I love having plans to cancel.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Making waves on Instagram:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Shared recently on X:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just landed via Twitch:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨