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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Trending via YouTube:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Just shared via TikTok:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"ALF: Proof that the 80s were a cosmic trip even without a UFO! 🚀👽😂"

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

0

3 months ago

again, appliance, belief, boomer, boomer belief, humor, malfunctioning, malfunctioning appliance, most, problem, problem-solving, slapping, solving, work
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

0

2 months ago

butt, Facebook, humor, i, kiss, me, media, power, relationship, restricted, social, social media, unfriended
I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

0

2 months ago

appearance, centaur, expression, extension, gender, hair, hair extension, hairstyle, humor, i, know, want, women
My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

0

3 months ago

comparison, favorite, humor, impatience, irony, line, lines, move, observation, queue, standing, waiting, watching
I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

0

2 months ago

awareness, being, built, everything, going, human, human being, humor, i, information, information overload, know, limits, overload, think, time, world
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

0

2 months ago

anything, better, cancellation, ear, ear protection, earplugs, hear, hearing, humor, i, me, noise, noise cancellation, protection, sarcasm, simply, stubbornness, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

94 shares on X this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Seen just now on Slack:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Live now on WeChat:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Live now on Instagram:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Shared recently on Threads:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Seen just now on Slack:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨