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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Trending via Instagram:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Live now on Pinterest:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Spotted on X:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Going viral on Instagram:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Just shared via Reddit:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Humorous quote about ALF as a hilarious 80s drug-induced mishap.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"ALF: Proof that the 80s were a cosmic trip even without a UFO! 🚀👽😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

43 shares on Threads this month:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

74 shares on Discord this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Shared recently on X:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Live now on Telegram:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Shared recently on X:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Shared recently on X:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Just shared via WeChat:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Spotted on Telegram:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

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