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Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Making waves on X:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Making waves on Snapchat:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just shared via Discord:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about ALF as a hilarious 80s drug-induced mishap.

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Commentary:
"ALF: Proof that the 80s were a cosmic trip even without a UFO! 🚀👽😂"

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage

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11 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

43 shares on X this month:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Trending via Reddit:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Just landed via WeChat:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Going viral on WeChat:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

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Activity Log ✨

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

I am single, please disturb me!

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

I am single, please disturb me!

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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