Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
  • My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.
  • Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.
  • I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.
  • I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.
  • I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.