Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
  • Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.
  • Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.
  • People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.
  • The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.
  • If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.