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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Just landed via Reddit:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Shared recently on Slack:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Trending via Twitch:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Just shared via Instagram:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Just landed via Pinterest:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

2 months ago

0

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits

3, activity, confusion, date, everything, humor, incorrect, months, next, time, tradition, writing, year, yearly

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

0

2 months ago

belief, better, communication, delusion, expectations, humor, paragraph, relationships, someone, treat
Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

0

2 months ago

broken, chaos, children, frat, frat house, house, humor, living, parenting, sleep, throwing, throwing up
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

0

2 months ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger
The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

0

2 months ago

50, 50s, after, age, age humor, aging, forget, forgetting, humor, i, joke, just, know, lapse, me, memory, memory lapse, middle, middle age, over, stuff
There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

0

2 months ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still
Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, future, generations, hell, humor, irony, live, never, precedenting, right, society, times, unprecedented

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Going viral on Slack:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

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