Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Just shared via Slack:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Just shared via Slack:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Just shared via Reddit:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Trending via Slack:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Making waves on Slack:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Witty text about financial fantasies, humorous and relatable for anyone counting on a surprise windfall.
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Commentary:
"Looks like I'll have to rely on good old hard work and dedication instead of winning the lottery 🤷‍♂️💸 Here's to another week of being fabulously not-rich! 🥳 #HustleHard #MaybeNextTime"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

12 shares on X this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Live now on Reddit:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Trending via TikTok:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Live now on Messenger:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Spotted on Discord:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Seen just now on Discord:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Spotted on X:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

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