And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.