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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Just shared via X:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Trending via Instagram:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Witty text about financial fantasies, humorous and relatable for anyone counting on a surprise windfall.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I'll have to rely on good old hard work and dedication instead of winning the lottery 🤷‍♂️💸 Here's to another week of being fabulously not-rich! 🥳 #HustleHard #MaybeNextTime"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

82 shares on Twitch this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is better when you have no work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Live now on TikTok:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Going viral on Facebook:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Trending via Discord:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Reddit:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

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