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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has downloaded:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has shared:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has copied:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has viewed:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Trending via Telegram:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Live now on Snapchat:

I need a massage for my brain.

Just landed via Slack:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Just landed via Discord:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Trending via Telegram:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Witty quote about choosing to wake up adorable rather than rich, with a playful vibe.
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Commentary:
Guess I'll start paying my bills with my charming personality! πŸ’β€β™€οΈπŸ’ΈπŸ€£

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

42 shares on Discord this month:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, β€˜Let’s do this.’

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You can pronounce it β€œNude Jersey” and no one will know.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has copied:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via X:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Going bananas on X:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on Discord:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Blink if you want me!

Going bananas on Twitch:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

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