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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Making waves on X:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Live now on LinkedIn:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Just shared via WeChat:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Live now on Reddit:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Shared recently on X:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Humorous quote about robbers questioning violence toward an unarmed person.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Armed robbers really need to brush up on their negotiation skills. It's like, hello, I'm broke, buddy! 💸😂 Maybe they should consider offering financial consultations instead of robbing people! 💼💰"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,768

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Shared recently on Slack:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Spotted on Slack:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Just shared via X:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Trending via Discord:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Shared recently on X:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Going bananas on Threads:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Spotted on Telegram:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Spotted on Threads:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

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