Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Just landed via Discord:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Just landed via Discord:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Making waves on Instagram:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Just landed via YouTube:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Spotted on X:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the original 'Chef's Special'—with a side of tough love! 🍽️😂"

child, childhood, choice, choices, dinner, family, food, humor, leave, mealtime, menu, parenting, sarcasm, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

3 months ago

determination, going, hell, keep, keep going, motivation, perseverance, resilience, struggle
Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

6 days ago

anything, dethroned, font, humor, never, new, real, roman, society, times, Times New Roman, typeface, typography
If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, me, news, sarcasm, slap, smart, technology, turn, TV
Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

5 months ago

communication, exclusion, humor, interaction, leave, loop, me, please, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

2 months ago

bag, bottom, company, design, flaw, flour, humor, packaging, paper, paper bag, product, product flaw, seal, sell
The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

2 months ago

dating, disappointment, expectation, finding, guy, humor, just, loser, lust, personality, reality, relationship, sweet, sweet guy, thing, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Reddit this month:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

55 shares on Slack this month:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Just shared via X:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Just landed via Discord:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Making waves on Discord:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Shared recently on X:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Making waves on Threads:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Just landed via Reddit:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨