As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

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I need a massage for my brain.

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When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

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Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

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I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

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I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

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Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

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That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

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Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

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Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

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Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.