At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.