Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Trending via Pinterest:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just shared via TikTok:

50 shades of single.

Just shared via Facebook:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Shared recently on Threads:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating that new grocery layout was more traumatizing than trying to decide what to watch on Netflix! 🛒😂📺

change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

0

1 week ago

action, daily, daily life, day, every, fix, humor, internet, life, media, observation, social, social media, stupid, watch
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, being, casual, comfort, friend, friendship, fun, house, i, judge, judgment-free, make-up, makeup, no make-up, pajamas
Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

0

2 weeks ago

eyes, gift, gifts, humor, morning, surprise
Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

0

2 months ago

apology, being, being happy, caught, excuse, got, happiness, happy, home, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry
The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

0

2 months ago

aging, escape, humor, i, live, loneliness, nature, older, people, solitude, squirrels, talk, understand, understanding, why, woods
Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

0

5 months ago

able, application, best, best friend, friend, friends, friendship, hiring, humor, job, jobs, set, should, teamwork, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Making waves on Threads:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Making waves on YouTube:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Breaking via Twitch:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Going viral on Discord:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Spotted on Slack:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Breaking via Instagram:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨