Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Going viral on X:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Breaking via Slack:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Just landed via Reddit:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Navigating that new grocery layout was more traumatizing than trying to decide what to watch on Netflix! 🛒😂📺

change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

0

2 months ago

board, board game, competition, family, family fun, fistfight, fun, game, game night, humor, Monopoly, night, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry
Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

0

4 months ago

boom, casual, casual tone, communication, email, emails, expression, funny phrase, humor, phrase, shakalaka, signature, slang, today, tone
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

0

2 months ago

dream, dreams, frustration, hate, humor, i, lose, office, office humor, paper, pen, relatable, sanity, things, work
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

0

2 months ago

cats, culture, Egyptians, history, humor, internet, still, today, used, walls, worship, writing
I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

0

2 months ago

activity, animal, animals, before, cool, curiosity, discovery, fun, fun activity, horses, humor, i, ride, riding, tried, wonder
I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

0

3 weeks ago

agree, Christmas, commentary, employee, employees, feel, ghost, ghosts, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, important, meaning, middle, night, pay, pay raise, people, person, raise, remind, rich, rich person, season, social, social commentary, true

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Instagram this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Breaking via Instagram:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Just landed via Messenger:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Shared recently on Discord:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Going viral on X:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨