Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Just landed via Telegram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Trending via YouTube:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Making waves on Slack:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Going viral on Facebook:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about teasing age with witty humor and sarcastic tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 'At your big age' is the shade equivalent of 'bless your heart' – lethal and polite! 💀🙌"

age, big, comedy, favorite, humor, insult, insults, joke, sarcasm, teasing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Going viral on Discord:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Making waves on Messenger:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Going bananas on Messenger:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨