Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Just landed via Threads:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Trending via Discord:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Just shared via Telegram:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on Slack:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m sick of living through history!

Freshly posted on X:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'd probably end up hugging that gold bar and whispering, "It's not you, it's my bank account." 😂💰🤗

bank, bar, feel, feel poor, finance, gold, gold bar, humor, money, poor, should, touch, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

0

2 months ago

activity, awkwardness, conversation, date, doing, flirt, flirting, fun, fun activity, humor, me, skills, social, social skills, things
“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, cycle, frustration, humor, inevitability, life, never, pass, place, reality, struggle, take, this too shall pass, too
Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

0

5 days ago

Batman, billionaire, bruce, Bruce Wayne, candidate, candidates, city, crime, election, elections, favor, gotham, Gotham City, politics, rigging, simply, superhero, wayne, why
On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad advice, bar, candy, full, full size bar, Halloween, humor, joke, last, size, supply, treat, trick, trick or treat
When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

0

2 months ago

admiration, cup, drink, fruit, fruit tea, healthy, healthy lifestyle, humor, lifestyle, looks, red, tea, wine
The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

0

2 months ago

breaks, girlfriend, great, growth, heart, heartbreak, humor, ideal, inspiration, love, motivation, relationships, resilience, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Easy there, unsaved number.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

54 shares on Slack this month:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Going bananas on X:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Making waves on Instagram:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Shared recently on Threads:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨