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Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,799

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Spotted on WeChat:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Breaking via Facebook:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Making waves on Threads:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

6 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh sure, my wallet needs more punishment for running out of cash! 😂💸

bank, being, broke, charge, fee, finance, going, humor, irony, money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

1 month ago
animal, call, humor, joke, mating, noise, stomach, whale
The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

1 month ago
ceremony, eyes, humor, morning, Olympics, opening, opening ceremony, sleep, thing, wake up
I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

1 month ago
FitBit, fitness, frustration, humor, i, irony, item, lost, lost item, put, steps, taken, track, tracking, trying, where, wish
Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

1 month ago
california, driving, dude, feel, gesture, humor, making, me, memory, nostalgia, nostalgic, rage, road, road rage, rude, rude gesture, shout, thank, traffic
There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

1 month ago
bad, bad decision, decision, decision making, decisions, dog, dogs, funny suggestion, guide, guide dog, humor, humorous, humorous idea, idea, making, prevent, should, suggestion
The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

1 month ago
friendship, great, house, humor, internet, let, never, online, people, place, social, web

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Freshly posted on Threads:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Trending via Messenger:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Just shared via Slack:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

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Activity Log ✨

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

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Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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