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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Trending via Threads:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Just shared via Twitch:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Just shared via Reddit:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Making waves on Facebook:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Spotted on X:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Unfriending already planned in case of hilarious oversharing 😂📜🔏

agreement, before, friends, friendship, humor, joke, NDA, please, sign, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

2 months ago

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If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

2 months ago

animal, bowl, communication, humor, just, misunderstanding, pets, put, should, sign, store, water
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

2 months ago

clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

3 months ago

adult, adult decision, choice, decision, food, food choice, fry, humor, life, life choice, priorities, salad
This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

2 months ago

actually, back, Back to the Future, biff, Biff Tannen, comparison, future, humor, movie, movie reference, reference, tannen, worse, worst
No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

2 months ago

am, employment, humor, i, job, LinkedIn, open, required, sarcasm, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Threads this month:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

73 shares on X this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Happy new fear!

Going viral on Messenger:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Just shared via Pinterest:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Trending via Twitch:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Shared recently on X:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨