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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,075

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Trending via TikTok:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Just shared via X:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Unfriending already planned in case of hilarious oversharing 😂📜🔏

agreement, before, friends, friendship, humor, joke, NDA, please, sign, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

2 weeks ago

another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should
The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

1 month ago

cream, exercise, fitness, food, house, humor, ice, ice cream, past, personal, temptation, thing, trainer, truck
Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

2 months ago

accident, bodily, bodily function, came, embarrassment, function, humor, joke, just, laugh, little, pee
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

1 month ago

General, humor, military, never, salute, sarcasm, settings, tech, tech humor
Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

1 month ago

bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine
Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

1 month ago

ancestors, ancient, family, Funny, great, humor, joke, oh, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on Discord:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

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Activity Log ✨

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

I drive like I’m immortal.

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

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Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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