Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Going viral on Facebook:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Shared recently on X:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Just shared via Telegram:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Spotted on WeChat:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Attempting to shake hands with a palm tree is an ambitious endeavor! 🌴🤝🤣

absurdity, comparison, fit, hand, humor, irony, nature, palm, palm tree, size, size comparison, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

0

2 months ago

4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

0

2 months ago

foot, function, furniture, house, humor, object, toe
Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

0

3 months ago

anger, frustration, give, humor, joke, just, me, minute, rage, rage room, relief, room, stress, stress relief
The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

0

2 months ago

aliens, built, conspiracy, credit, Egyptians, history, humor, pyramid, pyramids, scheme
Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

0

2 months ago

age, citizen, draft, eligibility, every, humor, military, over, postal, Postal Service, satire, service, should
The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

0

2 months ago

art, care, crazy, health, humor, letting, letting go, mental, mental health, once, relaxation, relief, self, self-care, stress, stress relief, subtle, while, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Spotted on Instagram:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Just landed via Messenger:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Live now on Reddit:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨