Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Just shared via Instagram:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Freshly posted on X:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Making waves on Twitch:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Just shared via Pinterest:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Making waves on X:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about billionaires' eccentricity and their plans for the afterlife.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Saving up for a penthouse suite in the afterlife, I see! 😈💸✈️

billionaire, hell, humor, irony, money, sarcasm, saving, wealth, weird

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on YouTube this month:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

63 shares on Threads this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

31 shares on X this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

51 shares on Slack this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

40 shares on Slack this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

How is it still this week?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Just landed via X:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Just landed via Reddit:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Shared recently on Threads:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨