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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,788

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Making waves on Discord:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Seen just now on Twitch:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending via Messenger:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Just landed via Telegram:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Seen just now on X:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Trending via Threads:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Just shared via Twitch:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Live now on Twitch:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

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Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.
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Commentary:
"Looks like my brain called in sick but forgot to notify me! 🤦‍♂️🧠🤪"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Making waves on Discord:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going bananas on Threads:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Going viral on Pinterest:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

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