Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.