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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Just shared via Discord:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Making waves on Telegram:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Going viral on WeChat:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

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Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.
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Commentary:
Trying to convince my brain to adult daily with a magic bean potion! ☕️🧙‍♂️😜

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Breaking via Facebook:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Just shared via YouTube:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Just shared via X:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Just landed via Messenger:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Spotted on TikTok:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending via Messenger:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

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