Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

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Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

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Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

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Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

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Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

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Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

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I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

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All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

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I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

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Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

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My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.