Someone from has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from has downloaded:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from has shared:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from has downloaded:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from has downloaded:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from has copied:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from has copied:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from has shared:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from has downloaded:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.