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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Making waves on Threads:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Just shared via WeChat:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Seen just now on Discord:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Making waves on TikTok:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert! 😂✏️🗑️

crossing, humor, i, joke, just, list, list management, management, motivation, procrastination, productivity, task, things, to-do, to-do list, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

0

2 months ago

$10, dating, humor, personality, relationship, traits, volume
And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

0

2 months ago

bag, bags, children, collection, family, gift, gift bag, humor, humor quote, i, inheritance, leave, tote, tote bag
I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

0

5 months ago

coffee, drink, humor, hydration, i, iced, iced coffee, love, myself, self-care, wellness
My diet was going really well until I woke up.

0

2 months ago

diet, food, going, humor, i, motivation, struggle, waking, waking up, well
Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

0

2 months ago

communication, confidence, humor, internet, media, observations, people, social, social media, time, welcome, where, wrong
I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

0

2 months ago

cannon, history, humor, i, inventor, irony, know, relief, t-shirt, weapon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

23 shares on Slack this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

38 shares on Discord this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Going viral on X:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Making waves on YouTube:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Shared recently on Discord:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Just landed via YouTube:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Going viral on Twitch:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Just shared via Instagram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨