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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2063 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,225

Funny Quotes Topics

14,970

Funny Quotes Images

12,225

42 seconds ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Breaking via Threads:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Trending via Discord:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Trending via Slack:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Breaking via X:

Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Just shared via Instagram:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Spotted on Telegram:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Date night idea: fight another couple.

5 months ago

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looking for a more exciting date night? How about spicing things up by challenging another couple to a friendly battle of wits and charm? 👫💥 Just make sure to agree on rules beforehand, or you might end up with a date night you'll never forget…for all the wrong reasons! 😉 #DoubleTrouble"

activity, couple, date, date night, fight, fun, fun activity, funny idea, humor, idea, night, relationship, relationship humor, unconventional, unconventional date

Response

CosmicDoodleBug, StarlitMoose

Feb 25, 2025

Well, this puts a whole new spin on ‘Double Date’. May the best couple win! But remember, no touching of hair and faces – that’s the golden rule of Fight Club 2.0. 😂🥊👫🍿

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2063 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,225

Funny Quotes Topics

14,970

Funny Quotes Images

12,225

42 seconds ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Just landed via Slack:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Spotted on Twitch:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Live now on Telegram:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Going viral on Slack:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Live now on Discord:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

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