Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Just landed via Facebook:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Freshly posted on Discord:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Making waves on WeChat:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Making waves on Slack:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

3 hours ago

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Commentary:
I always knew Santa had a side gig as a life coach! 🎅🔧✨

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

0

1 month ago

20, awkward, discomfort, good, humor, joke, looking, minutes, observation, reading, room, social
Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

0

1 month ago

amazing, clothing, comfort, decision, humor, life, life decision, night, onesy, pee, practicality, question, sleepwear, struggle
Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, comfort, home, humor, i, mortgage, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, pay, sleep, thank, wanted
If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

0

4 months ago

anime, anime hair, brown, brown hair, color, color dysmorphia, dysmorphia, frustration, getting, hair, hair color, hair frustration, i, imagine, much, pissed, real
Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

0

2 months ago

again, am, capable, care, confidence, hair, humor, i, lovable, love, loving, personal, personal care, self-care, transformation
Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

0

2 months ago

48, boredom, depressing, depression, evening, ever, feeling, mood, most, Sunday, time, weekend, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

94 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite color is money.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Trending via Telegram:

Your opinions are not my business.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Making waves on Discord:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨