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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Breaking via Slack:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Just landed via Discord:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Breaking via Facebook:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Just shared via Threads:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Spotted on Threads:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Making waves on Threads:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I always knew Santa had a side gig as a life coach! 🎅🔧✨

beard, belief, Christmas, claus, December, everything, fat, fat man, fix, holiday, man, me, Santa, Santa Claus, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work
I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

2 months ago

burrito, car, cars, case, cooking, driving, food, humor, i, just, keep, multitasking, seat, seat warmer, warm, warmer, warming
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

3 months ago

borrowing, decision, friend, humor, money, need, priorities
I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

2 months ago

feelings, flirtation, guess, humor, i, love, mystery, relationship
I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

2 months ago

coming, conclusion, conclusions, fetish, humor, i, just, logic, pun, stop, wordplay
The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

5 months ago

actually, alone, behavior, connection, ever, feel, human, human behavior, irony, isolation, loneliness, making, media, people, relationships, social, social media, trick

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

40 shares on X this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Live now on Instagram:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Seen just now on Threads:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Making waves on X:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨