Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Seen just now on Discord:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Making waves on Instagram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Making waves on YouTube:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, you must have felt like the king of the road, ruling your traffic kingdom with an iron blink! 👑🚗💨 #HighwayMonarch"

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Spotted on WeChat:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Going viral on X:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨