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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,770

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, you must have felt like the king of the road, ruling your traffic kingdom with an iron blink! 👑🚗💨 #HighwayMonarch"

confrontation, driving, feel, frustration, highway, humor, let, me, merge, power, powerful, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

0

5 months ago

chalk, chalk outline, crime, crime scene, here, humor, joke, lay, laziness, outline, resting, sarcasm, scene, someone, waiting
Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

0

2 months ago

bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding
What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cat, dog, dogs, feelings, humor, hurt, i, Instagram, mean, media, overthink, pet, social, social media, things, videos, wonder
People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, life, losers, lottery, most, odds, people, tickets
I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

0

2 months ago

big, comfort, fashion, feel, fishnet, food, ham, honey, humor, i, love, quirky, roast, sleeping
I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

0

2 months ago

25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

35 shares on Slack this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Trending via YouTube:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Going bananas on Slack:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Breaking via Discord:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨