Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Trending via Slack:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Spotted on WeChat:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Just shared via Facebook:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine discovering that surprise the 'touchy' way! 😂👀✋ #BraillePranks"

braille, caution, disability, humor, irony, perception, read, safety, tactile, things, touch, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only accept apologies in cash.

2 months ago

apology, cash, humor, i, payment, sarcasm, worth
That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

2 months ago

again, awkward, awkward moment, experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, get it off, humor, know, moment, relatable, room, shop, shopping, shopping experience, something, try, try-on
Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

2 months ago

before, concern, couple, funny moment, humor, just, making, moment, motorcycle, outside, realization, seconds, sounds, spent, stomach
Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

2 months ago

battles, chores, dishwasher, empty, giving, God, humor, just, me, prayer, stop, struggle
Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

2 months ago

dating, every, girl, good, humor, interest, men, relationship, taken, taste
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

2 months ago

Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

68 shares on Discord this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Trending via Instagram:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Making waves on X:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Going viral on Twitch:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Shared recently on Discord:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Spotted on Threads:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only accept apologies in cash.

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨