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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Making waves on Discord:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Going bananas on Threads:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine discovering that surprise the 'touchy' way! 😂👀✋ #BraillePranks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Discord this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

78 shares on Discord this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

30 shares on Discord this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

11 shares on X this month:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Seen just now on X:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Live now on Telegram:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Just shared via X:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

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